Advice

Dear Ann Landers,

I've begun to notice a change in one of my friends. He recently settled down in a town and began staying with a merchant. This was all fine and dandy when he still behaved like himself-He was kind to everyone and didn't worry about money or possessions. Business trips also seemed to be like vacations, he would spend time with the people and get to know them and return full of joy. All in all he was not the greatest merchant around, but he didn't seem to care.

The change has been slow but sure over the years. I've watched him cheat people, become drunk, and worst of all is the gambling. I'm pretty sure he's addicted to it. He doesn't care if he blows everything he owns, since he's confident he can gain it all back. If he doesn't loose he bets it all away. Even the gambling doesn't seem to satisfy him.

No matter what he does he isn't happy. He can't seem to find real joy in anything now. Is there anything I can do to help?
-Concerned and Confused

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Dear Concerned: I can see your dilemma. If you approach your friend you're afraid you'll get a hostile reaction or total ignorance from his part. But it seems like things have gone to far and if he doesn't straighten out the consequence could be fatal. Your friend needs to go seek some help, and get away from the people who encourage his gambling and drinking problems. Ultimately you aren't in control of his actions, but you can give him options and help him find a way out. It may take time but if he does choose to accept your help then you can be supportive and try to offer encouragement in his recovery.